Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Life lessons learnt!

Over the last few months I have been in the unenviable position of searching for a job. Not just for a career change, but for survival.
 My current work contract has not been renewed and I have been hurled back into the job market, which in its current state is not  all that pretty. Throw in single motherhood and its been a recipe for many sleepless nights, anxiety, tears and panic. 
If I had one word to describe the experience it would be soul destroying, yet as  my spirit is being crushed, I also feel this new sense of strength and resilience kicking in. The kind of resilience I have called upon many times in my life, that grit that has got me through many  previous battles.
It seems the vulnerability of my predicament, has been character building. The constant rejection has left me feeling hollow but at the same time I feel this new gratitude for the smaller things in life  and a belief that life will have a funny way of working itself out in its own time.

I know this too shall pass and life wont be as it is right now forever, there will be a resolution of some kind in my near future.  It has been in surrendering control and just letting things work out as they should  that has proved the hardest step for me to take. 
Yet I have also come to realise, with every unlucky situation that can be thrown our way, life has a funny way of showing us its sparkling best. There is always a silver lining, even if it hasn't come in the forms that I expected it to.
Even though this period has been challenging mentally and physically {I liken it to a ride on a roller coaster & I am not a fan of those rides!!) I know in time I will look back and be grateful for the lessons I have learnt and the person I have become during this period.  As I peel  back the layers of myself, I realise everyday I am growing, my courage is building and I am gaining a clarity about life that I never knew existed. 

Here are a few of the key lessons I have learnt. 

//   Don't lose perspective

The amount of times I have given up hope, lamenting my situation and then I get a big fat serve of perspective! Facing unemployment as scary as it is , is not the worst thing that can happen to me. In the scheme of my life it just doesn't rate. Recently I have seen parents in hospital with sick babies, relationship breakdowns and natural disasters. I still have all the fundamentals in my life,  my health, a roof over my head, and people who love me. I have my little partner in crime by my side and I realise these are the most important things!

//    Surrender to the lack of control 

Letting go the reins of control is not an easy task to do. In this crazy world, having control makes us feel secure and stable. As soon as I let go of the control, I felt  apprehensive and STRESSED, but as I sat with these emotions I began to see the benefit of surrendering. We never know what is around the corner EVER so  I have learnt to just go with how the world has planned things out for me.   When I started feeling at  peace with  things, movement on the job front automatically started flowing again.

//    Listen to your intuition 

This one is a biggie and not always something that is easy to pick up on.  I liken it to a gentle tug, that gut feeling that something is right or it isn't. 
I had this gentle niggle about something for a few weeks, at first it was ever so subtle but it didn't take long and it was all I could think about. I know this was my intuition ferociously tapping me on the shoulder . It was relentless until I took some action, and then it went away. 

The lesson, listen to your intuition, it is always right! 

//     Don't take things personally 

I have had plenty of job rejections in the last few months and at times they are pretty crushing. One in particular left me gutted. I was very attached to this job, convinced that it was my dream job, and almost manifesting it in my head that I had it in the bag. So when I received the call to in fact tell me I was not successful,  it took all strength I had not to burst into tears on the phone. I spent the night on the couch, crying and sobbing, I let myself grieve the lost opportunity and I made myself move on. 
Its very easy for your ego to take a bashing when its pummeled with rejection after rejection but over time I realised that if I didn't get the role, it meant it wasn't the right one for me. 

//     Exercise

As my moods started to get more erratic and the anxiety started to mount I decided I needed some tools to help me cope. For me exercise is always a sure bet. It puts me in my happy place, it rounds out my moods and it empowers me to  cope with anything being thrown my way. Not only does it make me feel stronger on the outside, it also makes me feel much tougher mentally. In the last few weeks I have doubled the amount I had been doing and its left me feeling more balanced, alive, energetic and happy. 

//     Embracing all emotions

When I went through my relationship breakdown a few years ago, I thought it was best to put on a tough as nails front, but really it was just an act and it took me a long time to break down those barriers and open up and express how I was really feeling. I realise now that adrenaline played a huge part in keeping me going. My poor old body was at battle with itself, always fatigued. I have learnt alot since then about how our bodies work at their best , and I knew with this situation I needed to just ride the waves of my emotions. There have been times I haven't been able to hold back the tears, They just came naturally, I have cried at work , in the supermarket in cafes, just about anywhere. I have been angry, jealous, sad , anxious and just about every emotion.
 I have found by acknowledging how I am feeling, to sit with it and  to talk to people around me,  that it is ok to feel them. I have also laughed a lot too, life is too short not to! 

//     Surround yourself with friends 

A tight support network is pivotal in getting through any life crisis, and for me having a select group of friends around to support me has been gold. Without a partner at home to hear my daily ups and downs, my friends have  lifted me up when I am down, they give me perspective, advice, sincere help and they just listen.  I couldn't have coped without them. 

//     Living in the moment 

Life is for living, at times its easier to retreat into my cave and watch as the world passes by, the time just ticking away.

But I am an adventurer at heart, I need to be free, outdoors and experiencing life. We have taken day trips, visited places I have wanted to see, dipped my toes in the ocean, and just lived as best we can with what we have right now!

//    Little snippets of the everyday

I have found the little moments in the every day all the more enjoyable;  
Cups of earl grey tea,
Inhaling Essential oils  especially rose geranium and lavender for their calming and balancing effect
After school smoothies and chai lattes with Darby 
Nights out laughing with beautiful friends 
Day trips to visit new places 
Eating the best Whole Food  that I can
{Trying} to Meditate
I know any day now, that the tides will turn, there will be change and the right job will come my way. I just have to have faith in the process that it will all work out ok in the end (and I know it will)  

1 comment:

  1. Great lessons learnt. That faith paid off! Hope your new job is going well lovely xx


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